No tomatoes, please

Yeah, that’s right. This lady. Why? I dunno, because Thanksgiving is all about food and family, and I’m super excited to be here. So, we baked an official assload of pies last night. And probably drank more. It was possibly one of the best nights of my life. My brother and I learned the Soulja Boy dance, and my mom cried because she thought neither of us had rhythm, but was disproved with our awesomeness. YOUUUUUU!

So, here it goes. I’ll be updating it throughout the day, so come back!

3:00 A.M.- Apparently the turkey was put into the oven at this time, because we are baking it at 250 degrees for like, 18, hours, I guess. That seems like a health hazard a little bit…

1:06 P.M.- I finally dragged myself out of bed, upset that my mom let me sleep too much again! But she apparently wasn’t feeling too well, and had just woken up herself. We’re in the process of making some homemade cinnamon rolls, then figuring out where the hell to bake them so that we will have something to eat before dinner. I am currently helping my mom make stuffing with the cornbread we remembered to make last night in between loads of laundry (still). Check back later, I’m sure something amazing is afoot, like maybe a secret awesome family recipe aaahhh!!!!

Turkey: Sort of check, still in the oven

Stuffing: Check-ing…as we speak

Sweet Potato Souffle: Not yet

Mashed Potatoes: Not yet

Green Bean Casserole: Not yet

Cranberry Sauce: Still in the can

Assload of Pies: Check

Mimosas which will soon turn into just champagne: Totally Check

 3:00- I love my family. As I was tactfully trying to suggest to my mother a way to make the sweet potato souffle without the insipid “candied” topping, she divulged that she didn’t like it much either. We did a bit of a family survey, and, it turns out, no one likes it. Yaaay communication! So, I get my lovely, transcendent sweet potatoes without disgusting pecans and like, caramelized brown sugar that’s all hard on top and retardedly sweet. I’ve got enough of that with these cinnamon rolls which just got finished. Which are AWESOME. They’re amazingly buttery and cinnamon-y, and not too sweet. My mom got the recipe out of this Southern Living magazine she bought, and, I’m not gonna lie, I was a little leery of any recipe that came out of here. Some other gems from the same magazine: Blue Cheese Thumbprints (Ya know, those thumbprint COOKIES with JAM in the middle, which are SWEET? Yeah, with blue cheese. In the cookies. I have no words.), Beef and Butternut Squash Chili (?). The biggest problem with this magazine is, not a lot of the recipes are inherently nasty sounding, but once you look at the ingredients, there’s so much random crap that they add to make it like, quick and easy, I guess? Like, wtf, for some reason there’s dang cornmeal in EVERYTHING. The only time we use cornmeal, ever, is to make cornbread. And last time I checked, Lemon Chess Pie was not cornbread. But anywho, I am needed to de-can the cranberry sauce. By the time I return, I will have eaten, and it will be delicious!

Cinnamon Rolls, which are surprisingly delicious despite being from “Southern Living”

1 Package frozen biscuits (My mom buys the bags of the Pillsbury biscuits, and one of the types is like, buttery, and that’s the kind you need because it makes the rolls so moist and delicious.)

1/2 cup chopped pecans (Don’t toast them beforehand, because they taste kinda burnt upon second baking)

Flour, so the biscuits don’t stick to the cutting board on which you defrost them

1/4 cup butter, softened

3/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar

Cinnamon (the recipe says 1 tsp, but my mom puts in way more than that. Just shake it all in there and crap until it looks good. I mean, they are cinnamon rolls.)

For the glaze:

1 cup powdered sugar

3 Tbsp milk

1.2 tsp vanilla extract

Ok, arange the biscuits on a cutting board or something in 3 rows of 4 biscuits so that they’re all touching. Let them hang out for like, 30-45 minutes until they’re thawed, but still cool. Then sprinkle the biscuits lightly with flour and pat them together until they form a square of dough. Then spread on the softened butter, and sprinkle on the brown sugar, cinnamon and pecans.

Then roll that beast up, so it’s all pinwheel-y when you look at the end. Slice it into 12 slices and place them in a lightly buttered round cake pan. Bake them at 375 degrees for 35-40 minutes until all golden brown, or basically until they smell so good that you can barely stand it. Then stir together the sugar, milk and vanilla extract so it’s all smooth and like, you know, a glaze for cinnamon rolls. Then pour that crap over while the rolls are still warm and eat it. And then be happy. Breakfast is, after all, the most important meal of the day.

 It’s time to make the green bean casserole. Later!

5:10 P.M.- So, all the food is stuffed in the fridge, and lo! It is getting dark. Maybe it will dip below 70 degrees… Thanksgiving is pretty much over, and while my first foray into LiveBlogging wasn’t extraordinarily exciting, I hope I kind of conveyed how awesome cooking and Thanksgiving is, if you didn’t already think so. Just wait til Christmas!

I’m off to dye my hair. What color? You’ll see soon…

~Rachael~