No tomatoes, please

Aaaah, ’tis that time of year again. Drunken revelry on the streets of the Chapel Thrill. Half-naked ladies stumbling around and candy- and alcohol-induced projectile vomiting. Alas, I am not doing anything to celebrate this Halloween, since I grew out of the trick-or-treating thing when I was about 12 and also since it will be cold, and I don’t wanna deal with that crap. But I did do something this year that was distinctly Halloween-y, and something that I have managed to successfully avoid up until now — pumpkin carving!

I really used to hate it as a child, what with the disgusting pumpkin guts all makin your arms itch, and my father getting fed up with our subpar cutting skills and taking over for us. But one thing that I did relish about the holiday was the delicious pumpkin seeds my mom would make for us. There were never enough, it seemed, and they were always so delicious. And a welcome break from sunflower seends, since I could eat the whole thing (although I did eat the whole sunflower seed for a while there, but that’s a different story. It’s easy to be confused by that…), shell and all.

Even though I wasn’t able to actually make pumpkin seeds this year, I shall walk through how you make them. It’s super easy and way better than having a bucket of pumpkin guts hanging around the house.

So, take the seeds and separate them from the disgusting, mucous-y innards. This is by far the worst part. Then wash them really well in a colander, and lay them out on a baking sheet. My mom likes to sprinkle a little more water on them so that the salt (or other spices) sticks to the seeds before she bakes them in a 325-degree oven. She never times anything, but I’ve determined that it’s about 45 minutes, or until you taste one and it’s crunchy.

You can flavor these with different spices, if you want, as well. Add some curry powder or chili powder for a delicious and slightly spicy snack, or you could sprinkle cinnamon on them if you want something to hold you over on the whole pumpkin thing until Thanksgiving.

So yeah, that’s pumpkin seeds. Really easy, and cheaper than tryin to buy that crap at Whole Foods or something. Plus they probably have weird things on them, like, soy germ wheat fiber or something like that. Ew.

And here’s a picture of my pumpkin! His name is Simon, and the only reason I could stand carving it is because the pumpkin was small and I didn’t actually have to stick my arm in it. He was a cute vampire jack o’lantern, but his fangs all withered up in his mouth. And now his mouth is all gross and wrinkly. So now it’s a withery old man pumpkin? God I hope I remember to throw it out before it totally rots…